The grass is only greener where you water it.

Recently, I have been having conversations with friends my age and we are all pretty much in the same boat; all searching for fulfillment of some type. Whether its through love or finding their purpose in this life we are all searching for something.

Last week, I was talking to a friend and I told her that the grass is only greener where you water it. 

Instantly a light bulb went off. 

I remember growing up and I didn't have very many friends but the few that I did have I always felt like I was missing out. I always wanted to have sleepovers, go to my friends houses to hang out or go on spring break and my parents would never (ok I did once) let me go. I remember one particular instance where my friend, Kimberly Marshall was going to Mobile, AL with her parents to celebrate Mardi Gras and my parents would not let me go..I mean she was going with her parents.. how much trouble could we get into??!!!

I was so bummed. 

But on the flip side, we were a family of 6: we traveled at least twice a year, I got a car when I was 16 (that I kept until I was like 25..shhh) and I am sure there were things I got to do that others may have wanted to but weren't able.  

Even a few years ago I was down on myself because I felt like I wasn't where I was "supposed" to be; financially, emotionally and even geographically. But I have done a lot of growing, encountered a lot of people (male and female) and I have realized we don't know each other's struggle. Meaning I may see someone who is doing well financially and their family life may not be so great. Or they are married with children but they are in a daily struggle. 

I have learned to envy no one, everything happens for a reason and to live my life for me and my star, Jaden. 

The grass will only be greener where you water and put life into it. So don't worry about someone else's grass it may just be about to die.

That awkward moment

I have had writers block for the last week... for the last three years really, but who's counting.
I could not complete a post this whole week and then it dawned on me.. why not write about something that has been front and center of my life the past week (month, year.)

• There was my 10 month one sided relationship.. the one where I had a boyfriend but he didn't have a girlfriend.. awkward.
• There is my good friend who is married and they are going through a separation? but not really? awkward.
• Then there is my friend and she is happily married, I can only pray that it will be me one day.. no awkwardness there :)

These relationships all have one thing in common, there is at least one person that is (or was) working hard to making things work.

Relationships are hard. But then again what in life that has any worth or meaning is easy? I don't compare myself to anyone or any situation anymore because really you don't know what is going on behind closed doors but I definitely take from what each of my friends share with me and make my own list of what I will and won't accept.  A lot of the time people don't want to put in the work and it seems to be much worse here in Atlanta because there is like 13-18 women for everyone guy. What that means is, when guys hear one too many "no's" or, "I don't that", they tend to not be so tolerable.
Am I saying that women should lower their standards  or overlook certain things they normally would be particular about? OF COURSE NOT!
What I am saying is people should be open about their expectations, wants and needs and that only comes from communication. It will save a lot of heartache and headache.

The worst feeling is when you think you are getting somewhere.. then poof! Psych ya mind! (a little more than awkward :/)

While I do see my self as a serial monogamous and I tend to bounce back fast, I think I will be bouncing more like a soccer ball than a basketball this time around.

The itch

I am starting to get the itch. You know the one.. that hits around this time, you start visiting your friends or maybe family and you're like DAMN!! I want that..
Yep it hits me every now and then... the decorate my house itch.. :)
I have been living in my house since mid-2009 and it still looks like I just moved it.. OK maybe not that bad.. But definitely someone lives here, I suppose it depends on what day you visit.
I have enlisted my friend, Rae Cook to be my resident Interior Designer. She has a awesome blog, that is filled with cute ideas, check her out here.
Anyway, when I first started telling her I want to liven up my place (again for the third time), she gave me one very strict guideline:
 "Take the stuff out of the trunk from the last time we had this conversation." I have the tendency to keep things in my trunk until I'm actually ready to use it.. I did that with a pack of chicken once.. that did not turn out so well.
She starting talking about colors, and patterns and then the all time most important question... "soooo what are you trying to do in here, what are your storage needs, what do you want to keep?" *double blink*
ummmm there's a method to the madness?!
She gave me some good ideas about storage, using furniture for storage, current and future color coordination.
This is what I have so far, what do you think?

I will keep you posted on how I scratch this itch.
~til next time
XO